Medieval Times

Yesterday was the 10th birthday of my oldest niece. For her celebration, she wanted to go to Medieval Times.

I met the whole crew there after they rolled up in a super-duper triple stretch Lincoln Limo, complete with 27″ LCD TV, DVD player and Dolby Audio (oh yea, plus a fully stocked bar). Just about the nicest limo I’ve ever seen.

For those of you that have yet to experience this place, it is a dinner show, complete with horses, centered during, you guessed it, Medieval Times! Knights, the King, The Princess, Sires and wenches. All inside of a giant castle that is not but 5 minutes from Knott’s Berry farm.

You arrive and walk into the building. Upon walking in, you are assigned a section, which is denoted by the use of really cheesy paper crowns, ala Burger King. We had Red/Yellow, which put us dead center of the action. YEA!

After that, it’s time to take a picture with the Princess. Everyone has to do this so that the MT can have the opportunity to gouge you for the pic during the evenings meal. Oh yea, to the tune of $15.00. I skipped the pic entirely.

There are a few bars inside, plus a gift shop and a place where you can even purchase what looked like real swords (pronounce the ‘W’ and I will kill you myself). We had a few beers that required a second mortgage to pay for before heading in.

Once inside the show and meal begin. First of all, this place does not stock forks, knives or spoons. Yes, that’s right, you get to head with your hands. It makes it tough with the soup (it kept falling through my fingers) but the rest was prefectly messy and quite thoroughly enjoyable. And sis did manage to get us real kick-ass seats. Imagine being on the blue line during a hockey game. Yea, those were our seats.

The show itself was very well rehearsed and fairly impressive. Crowd participation is highly encouraged, and everyone was yelling and screaming to the hearts content. My only complaint was the complete and total lack of bloodshed, which I think would have added to the realism. But, I’m sure that OSHA had other ideas.

Overall, I’d say it was an enjoyable evening. The place rated pretty high on db’s creepy clown scale until the show started, so it isn’t someplace I will be returning to voluntarily anytime soon. But if you haven’t been, it’s worth giving a go.

Categorized as General

By Don

Lead bottle washer at, host at and tech guru for the MotoringFile family of sites.

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