Grandma Mac

Today is her funeral and as I have mentioned before, we weren’t that close.

She was 99 years old, would have been 100 if she made it to her birthday in March. Not many people around that were born before 1910 anymore, so I would call this a remarkable feat.

How did she get that old? Clean living my friends. She didn’t smoke, didn’t drink (besides the occassional glass of wine or brandy), didn’t cuss and went to church on a regular basis. Oh yea, plus time at the ‘Y’ doing water aerobics. I’m pretty sure Grandma Mac would get Chuck Norris shakin’ in his beard.

I say didn’t cuss, but that’s not 100% true. There was this time at the g’rents for her 95th birthday that I got her to cuss, and it was awesome.

Grandma Mac was tiny, weighed 90lbs dripping wet and had a bit of a drawl, which I think was the default accent in the United States prior to 1930.


Were are having a good time trying to teach Mom a clever way to tell people how old she is. It goes something like this.

Person So, how old are you?

Mom I am 19 years older than my oldest son.

Person How hold is he?

Mom (laughing so hard it’s not making any noise) Fuck if I know!

Cute right? Sure, from Mom almost 5 years ago. Better, and, if I might add, totally deadpan with perfect timing?

Grandma Mac.

I almost fell down laughing so hard. I would have done a spit take for sure, or passed beverage through my nose if I had one. Fantastically awesome.

As you read this, we are celebrating her life. I think I will have a glass of wine and cuss just for her.

Published by Don

Lead bottle washer at, host at and tech guru for the MotoringFile family of sites.

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