The ‘Pro’ class

Posted in Observations,Silly — by Don on 11/10/07

Every Saturday morning at 9AM there is an Aerobics class. But not just any aerobics, no. Within this class is more silicon than you’ll find in a Best Buy and enough ink to print the Sunday Edition of the LA Times. No kidding.

From what I can tell, all of the porn stars, strippers and the like from the area show up. All wearing perfectly matched ‘outfits’ showing varying degrees of skin as they do their routines perfectly synchronized. Even the dudes, who I doubt are porn stars or strippers, but more there for the view ifyouknowwhatImean.

You might be saying ‘db…where are the pictures’. Or, probably, ‘db, how do you know they are strippers and porn stars?’. I mentioned this before. But I will again for clarity.

Fake. Boobs

And.

Tramp Stamps

How do I know they are fake? Well, I am glad you asked. While they are jumping up and down and whatnot, there is zero movement. None at all. Also, one of them continued her workout after the class on a machine where she had to lay on her back. Straight up, zero sagging.

Immediately following this class is a ‘Spin’ class. For those of you that are unaware of what this is, it’s a bunch of people on stationary bicycles that have been specially modified to do the Monkey Ninja moves that happen, or rather, are demanded, by the boot-camp-like instructor of the class. It’s also done in the dark, obviously to hide the pain and agony that the participants are going through. Brutal. And, for the record, people in ‘Spin’ class are crazy. And, it’s the bicycles that have been modified, not the people.

And, no, I don’t have pictures. But this guy does. That link has pictures of girls in varying degrees of bikini and cleavage, so it might not be safe for work. If you are wondering why I have this link readily available (Josh has one too) is for when I send Josh a picture he just has to see but it might be slightly unpleasant. Much like Boing Boing has their unicorn chaser to follow unpleasant stories. But I know Josh, and he likes bikini babes better than unicorns.