my day as a blind man, Part I

Last week went I went down to Mom & Dad’s to do a little network maintenance for them. Normal stuff, hotter than anything in the middle of the desert with the added bonus of thunderstorms, so the humidity was high too. Haven’t felt that? Imagine walking into a sauna turned up full blast. Yea, kinda like that.

Anyway…

My brother and his family were out on the lake in a houseboat and they invited us out for dinner. I thought this was pretty cool since I hadn’t seen my brother in a while and Dad just got a brand new Seadoo GTX personal watercraft. He picked it up for a song, especially considering that it only had 2 hours on it. Yea, dad is the master of the being-in-the-right-place-at-the-right-time.

So we get out to the houseboat and mom asks if I would like the ride the new hotness. Not being one to turn down a free ride, I jumped at the chance! Boy that boat could haul some serious ass and it handled as good, if not better, than the MINI! 51MPH on smooth water and it carried that speed through a fairly sharp turn.

For those of you that don’t really know me, I have to wear glasses. Had to all my life. When I was about 4 I turned into a little cross-eyed f’er. Had to wear a patch (arrrgggghhhh) and everthing. Now, my vision is actually worse. The doc puts me in the chair and puts my glasses on the table over there and asks me what I can see.

Nothing. Not even that big assed black E at the end of the room. Nothing but a big blur of black and white.

Back out on the lake, I thought it would be cool to try a stunt or two on the new boat. First up is a 180. Pulled it off without a hitch. I’m thinking ‘Sweet!’ and try to do it again. I guess the 2nd time was not a charm and I really pissed off the Seadoo for it bucked my ass right off! I flew about 12 feet and landed back first into Lake Mohave. First thing I did was put my hands to my face, but I was too late. Glasses were already on their way to the bottom.

Somehow I managed to get the Seadoo back to the cove where the houseboat was and even got ‘er up on the beach without running over either of the kids or the dog. They were lucky.

Wouldn’t have been so bad if I had not just gotten those glasses! No kidding, like 2 months before I gave the good people at the WalMart vision center about $300 for the new frames and lenses.

Come back for part II!