Talking a bit with the lad yesterday prior to leaving him at school.  I get the distinct impression that he is holding something back.  

For those that don’t know, or have forgotten, I worked in the restaurant business for just short of 15 years.  Needless to say I’m pretty observant and can tell when someone is saying something that might not be on the up-and-up.

It bothered me, the tone he used and his sudden quietness.  So I asked him about it when I talked to him after school.  He is usually more forthcoming with me when I’m 60 miles (and possibly 2 hours) away.  So I asked him why he was acting so weird earlier, and again presented him with the same question.

Reports cards were being handed out yesterday.  I asked him what to expect.  He said, straight away, same as before.  Well, that’s a start, right?  I asked him if was still keeping up with getting his classwork turned in, as well as his home work.  That’s when he stumbled.

But, when I’m 60 miles away, he gets a little brave and came clean.  Of course he isn’t doing his classwork.  Of course he isn’t turning his completed homework in.  What was I thinking?

Honestly, I think it’s beyond him to do well in school.  And, since he isn’t very good at it anyway, and since there isn’t much time left in this school year for him to recover from an F in all of his classes that matter, I figure it’s time to focus instead on what he does well.

So, when I got home last night, he was working on homework.  I know he won’t turn it in anyway, so I told him to stop.  Then, I told him to go ahead and spend the rest of the night on the internet and/or sending text messages after I gave him his gadgets back.  I also asked him why he even bothers going to school in the first place.  Since he doesn’t do anything anyway, why waste the time of the teachers, other classmates and himself?

Now I’m going to have to go to his school and somehow talk them into holding him back a year.  This should be a load of fun since they wouldn’t hold him back after he failed the 8th grade.  Yes, you read that correctly.  He failed the 8th grade but was advanced to the 9th.  Way to reward bad performance.  

The reason?  Oh, you are going to love this.  When I asked why they wouldn’t hold him back, they said they felt it was PUNISHMENT!  What?  Really?  

Don’t you wish that when you failed at your job, you could keep it?  Don’t you wish that you could break the law and get away with it?  Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want without any fear of reprisals?  Man, that would be so awesome!

But, I live in the real world for the most part.  And, here in my world, when someone fails at anything, there is usually some kind of punishment.  That’s the way it goes.  

I’m thinkin’ about sending him to spend a week with his mother in the flop house full of crazy drug users she lives with. Maybe that will help turn him around.

Or maybe not. I’m out of ideas at this point. Constructive suggestions are always appreciated.

 

5 Responses to “On this, the 937th post”

1. Joshua Says:
   April 16th, 2008 at 3:58 pm

   Is summer school a possible option?

2. Chuck Says:
   April 16th, 2008 at 7:00 pm

   I did a construction job scraping and cleaning up after a wallboard guy one hot summer. After that I wanted to go to school.

3. Chris Says:
   April 17th, 2008 at 12:18 pm

   Well, although I am by no means even qualified to talk about how to parent a teenager (myself not having any children) I will offer this: don’t give up on him.

   All kids need positive reinforcements (no matter what) and I’m sure he feels bad knowing he hurt you…Knowing that I let my parents down was always a bigger punishment than anything they could have done to me. It’s not about taking away an xbox or restricting internet..all that does is make a kid angry and make them think you don’t understand and only want to punish. Somehow he needs to realize that this is for his own good.

   Where does he see himself when he graduates? Going to college? Working full time? Joining the military? Whatever his future may hold – NOW is the time to act. It’s a shame that high schools want to just push kids through but they have to learn.

   I would stay supportive, stay on his ass 24/7 to make sure his school work is getting done, and be his biggest cheerleader- I’m sure he looks up to you more than anyone else. Something will click (it has too)- just don’t give up!

4. J/C Says:
   April 17th, 2008 at 7:52 pm

   Yes, I agree about him looking up to you and wanting positive stuff thrown his way. That’s the usual reason teens do the stuff that irks their parents.

   When my eldest son was in high school, he did a lot of the same things yours is going through. He came to live with me, thinking his mom (up north in Washington) was getting on his ass too much and that I’d be more lenient. Well, he tried the same stuff; not completing assignments, ditching school, etc. And I was only two miles away!

   Rest assured Don, when yours is in his twenties, he will remember your efforts of now and the heartaches he put you through.

5. db Says:
   April 20th, 2008 at 4:04 pm

   Thanks everyone, I appreciate it.

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