I have completely failed the two most important aspects of my life.
The one you get to hear about is teh lad. It is official as of today. He will not be continuing on to be a freshman in high school.
Yes he has failed on purpose.
No I don’t know why, and he won’t tell me.
Yes, I’m sure he won’t be able to recover. Of his 6 classes, he is failing 4 of them. Not a D-, F.
And, of course, since I’m the parent, it’s instantly my fault.
Does’t matter I make sure he has clean clothes and food. Or a roof. Or lunch money. Or that I actually check to make sure his homework is done. Nope, none of that matters.
He’s failing and it’s my fault.
My fault he doesn’t turn in his homework. My fault he doesn’t do his class work and turn it in. My fault he doesn’t tell me when tests are so I can help him study.
Yea, I’m a horrible parent.
Just about par for the course for today. I’m just fucking up right and left lately. Someone just shoot me now and put me out of everyone else’s misery.
February 9th, 2006 at 9:29 am
Don you are so not a failure. I know you and the lad and know that you have done what you can but if he chooses to fail their is nothing you can do to prevent it. I am sorry you are in the dumps. I hope something good happens today to lift your spirits. You know you are only half of the parents in this case so you can’t be held to the whole responsiblity.
February 9th, 2006 at 11:16 am
My step-daughter did the same thing a year ago, got more and more behind on her school work and eventually just quit in her final year. She’d lie about tests, about homework, everything. It didn’t matter that my wife bought study software, reviewed what homework she did reveal etc. The kid’s mind was made up and nothing could be done. I can’t offer any reasons why they do it but just know that you are definitely not alone in having this happen to you. It doesn’t make you a bad parent.
February 9th, 2006 at 12:00 pm
Thanks gang.
Next thing I’m going to do is contact the school to find out why I didn’t find out about this until now. I never really thought he was going to pass the 8th grade, but I had still be trying pretty hard to try avoid it.
February 12th, 2006 at 1:00 am
Do you have any idea how many F’s I got?
I turned out ok (more or less)
My problem was I just did not care about school, It was not a fun enviroment for me. To that some people say “it’s school it’s not susposed to be fun” but that just does not do it justice. I still can’t spell worth a damn but I did find a creative outlet for what I did enjoy and I persued that. Even made a living at it. All I can say is that I hope the lad finds his. My parents did all the same things you where doing and I still managed to screw things up on my own quite a bit. They where good parents and so are you. The lad is a free thinking person, just like I was and you where at that age. As a parent you can only guide them but humans have this built in stuborness factor, some of us more than others.
So how do you help then find that outlet? I don’t know. Wish I did. In my case a family friend intoduced me to an afterschool program where you got to make movies and tv shows. It was called Cinekyd. http://www.cinekyd.com and it changed my life. I’m not saying things where all rosey from the time I started there till when I graduated but it gave me an anchor to hold on to, and one of my own choosing. I think in retrospect that was the important part.
For some it’s sports, for others it’s cars, and for a select few it’s making movies. You just need to help him find that thing.
granted this is coming from a guy who’s awake at 1am taking a break from programing a videogame to read blogs.
and still can’t spell.
-Brad